The SGC through the eyes of the Tech
by Bladeswin
Summary: Ever wonder what the computer guy has to deal with? Read and find out how tough the job can get.
1. Dr Daniel Jackson

I first want to say that this is my first official fan fiction...so please have plenty of pity and mercy on me! I will enjoy any feedback you wish to share...as I am new to writing much of anything.  
  
Yes...I know its short...I'll get better at that...I just did'nt want to forget my idea!  
  
J  
  
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The SGC through the eyes of the computer tech…  
  
'Joy…seven work orders today…how can these people do this much to their computers and still have time to go off world? Sigh…why couldn't I have just been assigned to a regular outfit rather than this?' Thoughts about the horrors of the day went through his mind as he walked down the hall to see to the first order of the day.  
  
"Doctor Jackson."  
  
"Sergeant Berg."  
  
"It says here that you need more RAM…you know you already have twice as much as the rest of the base, right?"  
  
"Yes…I know…but I need more…my computer is too slow. The archeology program you made doesn't work anymore. I put too much in it, so it takes too long to load."  
  
"There is a way to fix that…"  
  
Daniel interrupted, fearing the worst.  
  
"I'm NOT deleting anything. This work IS important…"  
  
"Doctor…I wasn't going to suggest that, even if Colonel O'Neill wants me to. How bout this…I give you what you need to make your computer run faster, then the next time this happens, and I know it will, you try it my way. Deal?"  
  
Daniel thought for a moment, wondering what the tech would suggest, then muttered:   
  
"Deal."  
  
'Oy. Well that's done…what's next.' The sergeant walked out of Daniels Lab and stopped…staring at the next work order. The order was from Colonel O'Neill…he wrote:  
  
|I got angry…and zatted my computer…sorry| 


	2. Col Jack O'Neill

The Sergeant approached the Colonel's office, wondering what to expect. He zatted his computer! I can't believe that. You would think that he might have realized that it wasn't exactly the best thing to do. But, I guess not. So it's up to me to put the pieces back together…oh wait…there are no pieces. Well that makes it easier. At this time he didn't blow it up like last time. Who would have thought that a few P-90 blasts could do that much damage?  
  
~~~~  
  
"Uh…Colonel? Do you mind if I ask…"  
  
"I got mad…so I went to the armory, got a zat, aimed and hit it three times."  
  
"Right. So I assume you want a new one."  
  
"Yeah…"  
  
"Sir…please promise me that you'll try not to let this happen again. I think it would be hazardous to my health to put in my daily report that you zatted your computer…General Hammond might think that's just a little strange."  
  
"Not considering everything else that goes on around here…but my computer wasn't working right…"  
  
"What do you mean, sir?"  
  
"It said it made an error and had to be shut down…so I shut it down, permanently."  
  
"Sir, the next time that happens, please call my assistant. I'm sure he'll be glad to help you fix your computer"…in order to keep it in one piece…  
  
"Thanks Sergeant. When is my new computer going to be in?"  
  
"It should be here in three days."  
  
"Three days? Ah hell…how am I going to work on my reports?"  
  
"Well…I don't know…I'll see if I can let you use one temporarily…no guarantee's though. We might not have any left…" Yeah…there aren't that many left since some nameless Colonel accidentally opened an email containing a massive virus onto the Base mainframe…took out every computer…even the gate computer was affected…That was one interesting day to say the least.  
  
"Just get me a computer, ok?"  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
~~~~  
  
'Well, that's the first case of someone zatting their computer. Almost matches up with the time that Major Carter overloaded her laptop when she was using those weird arm braces. Hmmm…what else do I have to do today…?' He turned the page on his clipboard and skimmed the page. 'Teach Teal'c how to use the internet…teach General Hammond how to send pictures…Replace a few broken computers on level 7. Well…this isn't as bad of a day as I thought. No critical issues…yet.' 


	3. Maj Sam Carter

Authors notes: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! It means so much to me! As per requests, I am adding a new chapter! *YAY!* Trust me though, I propably won't be able to post much, seems the age of research papers and finals are upon me once again... I fear the coming month more than coming face to face with Yu. Not that that's not terrifying though... hmmm... I may have just gotten an inspiration...  
  
AND: I figured out how to make it so my story doesn't appear so wierd on the site! YAY!  
  
Oh yeah! Heres the chapter! Enjoy!  
  
PS: Instead of all of the notes on his thoughts...I decided to make this chapter entirely as a first person narrative! Yay.  
  
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Hmmm...what to do next...well, seems teaching Teal'c the internet seems the least painful. So, might as well get that done first. You would think that with all the money poured into this project that the SGC could get a decent assistant for me. I mean, I know laziness isnt permitted in the Air Force, but this is simply repulsive. He doesnt do any work. And I know that if I get rid of him, the higher up's will think I'm just picky and will propably either send Bailey back or just leave me without any help. I guess I'll just have to talk to the General...Im sick of...  
  
The sergeant's thoughts were interrupted as he heard his name called from behind him, then again. Obviously someone wanted his attention.  
  
"Sergeant! Sergeant! Wait! Glad I found you here!"  
  
Well, it was now no suprise why she wanted to find me. In her right hand was a laptop...stress the word was. The thing looked like it'd been through hell and back! Wires were sticking out from everywhere and a piece...no...that can't be what I think it is...oh boy...yep. It's the hard drive...in three pieces...being held to the former piece of technology by duct tape.  
  
"Um...wow...what happened to that thing?"  
  
"I know you said it was waterproof, which helps on a lot of missions, but it didnt help on the one to P3D 910. Here, let me explain. We were sitting around and talking for a while, and I decided to get some research done on the Ion drive we got, trying to see what potential it had for increasing the subspace field of a glider or even the F-302's. So, I had my laptop out and was working when Daniel came and told me it was his turn for watch. I left my laptop where it was, thinking it would be safe, but it wasn't...as you can see."  
  
"Yep...I think you are definately right about that Ma'am."  
  
"So you can be sure that I was suprised when I awoke. I went out to type up a theory I came up with, and found my computer like this, only a little more attached. So, I put it in my bag and we geared up to head back to give the General our report, and somehow, while we were in our meeting, the person I gave my bag to when we arrived in the gate room had returned my bag to my room...only when I took the computer out of my bag, the computer was in a lot more pieces than when I left the planet."  
  
"Let me make a wild guess...you need a new one. Well, I'll order one for you, but go ahead and take one from the computer storage room. We stocked up for a while on laptops for off-base activities...but they never got used."  
  
Major Carter handed me the laptop and the only thing I could do is wonder exactly what happened to this poor pitiful piece of technology.  
  
"Thanks...next time I'll try and keep the Colonel AWAY from my laptop off-world."  
  
"You mean that he..."  
  
"Stepped on it...yes, that's what I mean..."  
  
"Oh man...that's unbelievable..." I could barely hold back a laugh!  
  
"Right. Thanks Sergeant."  
  
"Youre welcome Major."  
  
Well...can't say that I was expecting that...but it sure is unexpected! Hmmm...why did she duct tape this together? Might as well go to my lab now and put the order in with the financial department for a new laptop. Hmmm...I also have to put in an order for the Colonel's computer as well. What am I going to put in that report...theres no computer to prove that the colonel's was damaged...This could make for an interesting report. A Colonel who zatted his computer and a Major who had hers stepped on...and I can't write any of it down...well, at least not in an official report. 


	4. Intermission

Authors note: I thought it would be interesting to write this chapter as in interlude, since I'm not going to have much time to write more in the near future.  
  
But mainly it's a test on whether or not I can write with Teal'c. I'm kinda worried about getting his speech correct.  
  
Enjoy!  
  
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Daniel Jackson sat at his computer, waiting for the page to load. It was taking way too long, so he had to wait a while. Something to do with networking issues.  
  
"Whatcha doin Danny?"  
  
Jack made his appearance known as soon as he came into the lab.  
  
"Well, I found this really interesting web site! It seems that there are literally thousands of stories written on us!"  
  
"What? Really? How did they find out about the SGC?"  
  
"I think that they write about our characters in the hit TV show 'Stargate SG-1'."  
  
"So what, people aren't happy with the writing so they decide to write their own?"  
  
"Yeah! It's pretty interesting. They call it fan fiction. Some of these writers make it so that I feel like I'm actually there."  
  
"So what's this story about?"  
  
"It's about this computer guy that works at the base and his experiences with the SGC."  
  
"Sounds interesting enough."  
  
The conversation was interrupted when Sam walked into the room.  
  
"Hey Daniel, you got those translations done on that device we found on our last mission?"  
  
"Hi Sam."  
  
"Hi Carter."  
  
"Hello Colonel."  
  
"Hey Carter, did you know that people write stories about us?"  
  
"No Sir, I didn't. I take it that's what you two are doing, reading stories about the SGC?"  
  
"Yep! Wanna join us Carter?"  
  
"I guess. What is this story about?"  
  
"It's got something to do with a computer technician in the SGC and the things he has to go through."  
  
Teal'c walked into the lab, wondering what had caught the interest of his fellow team members.  
  
"Daniel Jackson, what is it that has captured your interest?"  
  
"Teal'c! You're just in time to read part of this story."  
  
"What is this story's purpose?"  
  
"It's for enjoyment. People write about us and the SG personnel in all varieties of stories."  
  
"If it is written about the SGC, is it not then a serious breach of security?"  
  
"Um...no Teal'c. These stories are all fan fiction." Daniel tried to help his friend understand.  
  
"I do not understand what a device used for propelling air to cool ones self has to do with works of literature."  
  
"Fan fiction means that the writer of the story is the fan of a television show."  
  
"I see, Daniel Jackson."  
  
The page loaded and all members of SG-1 read the chapter with great interest.  
  
(Clip from the page they're reading)  
  
"Uh…Colonel? Do you mind if I ask…"  
  
"I got mad…so I went to the armory, got a zat, aimed and hit it three times."  
  
"Right. So I assume you want a new one."  
  
"Yeah…"  
  
"Sir…please promise me that you'll try not to let this happen again. I think it would be hazardous to my health to put in my daily report that you zatted your computer…General Hammond might think that's just a little strange."  
  
"Not considering everything else that goes on around here…but my computer wasn't working right…"  
  
(End above clip, start new clip)  
  
'Well, that's the first case of someone zatting their computer. Almost matches up with the time that Major Carter overloaded her laptop when she was using those weird arm braces. Hmmm…what else do I have to do today…?' He turned the page on his clipboard and skimmed the page. 'Teach Teal'c how to use the internet…teach General Hammond how to send pictures…Replace a few broken computers on level 7.   
  
(End Clip)  
  
"Ha-ha Jack, I could SO see you doing that!"  
  
"What? No way! I would never do that. I wouldn't get enough enjoyment. I'd use a claymore."  
  
All personnel laugh hysterically except Teal'c, who simply raises an eyebrow.  
  
"I do not see why Colonel O'Neill's dealings with computers are of enough importance to write about."  
  
"It's for fun T. Even though I can't really do that, I might like to sometime now that I have the idea! Hey Danny, what's the next chapter about?"  
  
"I don't know yet. It's loading now."  
  
All members of SG-1 focus their interest on the computer monitor and stare in wonder.  
  
(Clip...)  
  
Daniel Jackson sat at his computer, waiting for the page to load. It took way too long to load, so he had to wait a while. Something to do with networking issues.  
  
"Whatcha doin Danny?"  
  
Jack made his appearance known as soon as he came into the lab.  
  
"Well, I found this really interesting web site! It seems that there are literally thousands of stories written on us!"  
  
"What? Really? How did they find out about the SGC?"  
  
"I think that they write about our characters in the hit TV show 'Stargate SG-1'."  
  
"So what, people aren't happy with the writing so they decide to write their own?"  
  
"Yeah! It's pretty interesting. They call it fan fiction. Some of these writers make it so that I feel like I'm actually there."  
  
"So what's this story about?"  
  
"It's about this computer guy that works at the base and his experiences with the SGC."  
  
"Sounds interesting enough."  
  
(End Clip)  
  
"What in the..."  
  
"Carter, is this even possible?"  
  
"It appears that this writer is actually writing about this conversation as it is occurring. This is unbelievable."  
  
"Well scroll down, I want to know what I say next."  
  
"Technically, now that we have found this, whatever we were going to say most likely has been changed."  
  
"Wow...it's written here word for word..."  
  
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Hope you liked it! I liked writing it!  
  
If you didn't notice, they're reading my story! Yay!  
  
J 


End file.
